Last longer in bed: ask Dr. Chaves

Thinkstock Kegel exercises are helpful in controlling the ejaculation.Communication is key when attempting to sexy toys such as handcuffs.Discuss grooming preferences (say, body hair) with your partner.

"Kegel exercises are useful to strengthen your muscles and the foundation of ejaculatory control, but it?s guaranteed."

HI Dr. Chaves.

As you already know, this is very awkward for any man to admit he has a problem in bed. When I was with girls in the past, I've been hampered by the amount of time that I last in bed. The question is not having me an orgasm before her, like most of it peaked before me. This is embarrassment does not last very long.

I don't want this is the case with the new girl I recently met. I was wondering if you had stuff "training" myself to last longer. I read that Kegel exercises can help after months of do them, but I am afraid that I have that much time. I considered buying a Fleshlight, but I thought it would be just a little ridiculous to spend a lot of money on something like that. Are there any ways I can increase my endurance in a faster period that Kegel exercises take?

Bart, CA.

Question No. 1 sex I get men talking about ejaculation. For many men, it can be an embarrassing experience and a black cloud rises on the male psyche. You are on track with your suggestions, but this thought is that a quick fix might put additional pressure on you. It takes time - months for most. I wrote an article on AskMen ejaculation advice, which should be useful to get the process started to overcome.

Kegel exercises are useful to strengthen your muscles and the foundation of the ejaculatory control, but only exercises do not guarantee the results. They are part of a wide variety of techniques that can help give men the ejaculatory control necessary and needed to take more confidence.

The Fleshlight is a masturbatory device which can be ideal to learn to achieve and maintain high levels of sensation of ejaculation. But it does not go as if by magic make you long – if she probably will you smile more. It is a tool for use with the advanced exercises to stretch your sexual response cycle of enlightenment by orgasm. Quick fixes aren't the answer they are just ways to avoid looking at the issue. Of course, you can use an agent desensitizing penis, wear a condom (hope you're wearing an anyways) or ejaculate prior to sex, but these options address the issue, or they are ways autour deal effectively with the issue head on?

Training for your body and confidence go hand in hand. Read the article and take the time to make a positive impact on your body and your mind. One day you find yourself in a situation of lovers, lightning, and your quick fix may not be available to you. After this sexual interaction, you'll be glad you took the time to form an ejaculation early away.

Dr. Chaves

I am so mad at myself. After months of begging, my girlfriend finally agreed to use some metal handcuffs, I bought. The only problem is, these "fantasy handcuffs" marks made on the wrists, and try them again. I thought they would be cool and OK since I was their to a sex shop, but it does not mean that anywhere them near of our bed. I am truly sickened. They were really excited me, and I really enjoyed having her bound all. How I get to use them again?

Damien, FL

You're out of luck. I doubt that it goes to what you're trying to use these handcuffs on his new. And why it? He was injured and it scored. Novelty handcuffs are sometimes just as: best novelties suitable for entertainment on the wrists of your friend. They were probably a few silk leopard - the fuzzy lookup which covered the metal, but it is still metal and not much different from what use the cops.

It's time for some damage control, and you need to find ways to fix what was broken. First of all, to apologize and tell him that you does not mean to do this. Say sorry often goes very far. Ask him if she is willing to consider to try another method of bondage, which is softer on the wrists. If it accepts to bear in mind, it may be time to decorate the walls of your Dungeon and remove these metal handcuffs. Try to use some soft scarves and don't forget to link the node with a space between the wrists (at least two fingers should fit between the scarf and wrist).

There are many good introduction, books as Jay Wiseman SM 101 or Race Bannon learn the trade, who teaches the basics of debt bondage and appropriate knotting techniques that are easy to cancel. Another option is to purchase padded, leather wrist restrictions. Most beautiful, but more expensive. You can find toys sex kinkier or online stores at various outlets of kink, including my preferred supplier, the store. Fetish model attractive on the home page carries limitations of wrist and ankle.

We then have sex Q & A with Dr. Chaves... Next >

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Suspicious spouses

Only one more question stack. I really hope trust outweighs suspicions groundless in this work best for each case…will!

Q: Julianne, so a question to your answer on the period of the sexual rut. I travel often for business and unfortunately any time I undertake anything "new" my wife gets wierded out and suspicious.   I would never nothing to compromise my marriage.  Wise advise?

A: If your wife thinks anything "new" bring you into the House must have been inspired by a person who you met during a trip, right? Because otherwise where do you get these ideas? Sorry, I'm being sarcastic…my bad.

While I do not know that your trip is on the up-and-up and about as exciting as a stone, I can understand your wife being a little jealous. However, I doubt that these are other women, that she is jealous. She is jealous of you. Even if it is a train for you, you are away meet new people, go to different places, being entertained by the agents…and of new and anonymous TSA is not.

Bring something "new" in the bedroom (Bravo to you for putting your game-!) just said that you've been inspired by something that is not him. Doesn't have to be another woman, could be an article about the in-flight magazine that you want to try to "" some stuff, it wasn't what sparked the idea in your head.

If I him, I would be delighted for you fairly careful to bring home some inspiration — probably wouldn't even ask where it came from. But c'est moi. However, if I him, I also wouldn't be sitting around you waiting to come home. I leave the world and trying to drum some ideas of my own to show you.

My suggestions here: (1) make sure your wife knows that any new movement came from your wanting him while you are missing and that you want to think that new ways to excite him (this may or may not work). And (2) remember your wife your being out of town doesn't mean that she need to sit at home by phone. Encouraging out, to be with friends, doing things she likes… .and possibly find its own idea (or 2) to try on you the next time.

Good luck and Don't give up on try it!

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Cheat for a wedding better

I thought that this question was worth its own post. That you think this…Cheating is to help your marriage?

Q. my friend just told me that he has a relationship. I am torn between shocked and jealous. He and his wife appear to be still solid, but now it says it is sex the best of his life, and things couldn't be better at home. I love my wife, but part of me wants that there - I have never given him happier. Can cheating actually improve your marriage?

A. Umm…doubtful. But I am sure that you (or your friend) can be happier in the moment. I see now: he gets to have the best of both worlds, home to his wife with an extra spring in his step after rolling around complete with her lover for half of the day. Her the happiest woman ' cuz, it is most happy (and presumably hornier) and maybe in the short term its world couldn't be better.

But flash forward a few months. Her lover (or him) began to want more of the case, his wife innocently finds evidence of sexting, sound makes torn-between-two-worlds he cranky at home, he just accidentally home with someone from another sock on its feet… .you get the picture.

I have no doubt your friend still loves his wife and is still invigorated by the vigorous surge (and ego-boost) a case. But, as with the question…well "may cheat really improve your marriage?", guess that depends on how you see. Might appear to be improving it for a minute, if you factor Disrespecting the wife off the coast of the table, but what happens when you don't know when to quit? It worth throwing a marriage apparently decent away for? Cannot say I recommend, but you might want to keep an eye on what is happening to your friend.

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Forgive & forget? Not so easy...

 Q: Ok, here's a question that the effects of my life. Issues happen all the time, what is worse emotional cheating as internet or physical? Long story short: I dropped my marriage, my wife left, crossing of divorce, and found happiness with an ex then separated. Before my divorce was final I deployed and my wife and I decided to try again. She put me in hell during deployment, but from what I knew never triché. But then 2 years after I return to my sister told me she made 10 times and she admitted it. Now to deal with it I shut down and talked to females online, but never anything serious. Due to, she said that we are. He has been a year now and I still feel terrible but I still love my wife. If I want to know, 1 is mine as bad as hers? And 2 how actually get you this?

A: Ooof - you are in a difficult spot and the only way to get over it (in my opinion, any way..) is for you and your wife mutually wipe the slate clean. Start from zero. There is no question of who is worse - you both away. Keeping score here you'll get nowhere. If you want to pass all cheating (hers and yours), you have either forgive or forget (ideally both). Constantly thinking his cheating would only make you two are tops.

But only, it will be more difficult for both of to do you this if you are not in your marriage. Few things to ask: 1: even after all, you're still in love with your wife? 2: Place you have given your prior marriage, you are looking for a reason to do it again?

In my opinion for non-professional-, you will need to provide flexibility for what happened while you were away to another. This is not an easy time for anyone. I would definitely suggest the two you see an adviser should be able to help you move from cheating ways, but that only works if you both are not fully prepared to leave the past and start over again in the present.

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Drunk venom & more...

Yes! Peacekeeping is important…don can't abuse the guys of arguments. The worst thing for any person to do in a relationship means the famous "" don't forget what you said when you were sh * tfaced the other night? "" Always starting problems!

Point to get drunk (when you are married) is to forget everything else and have a good time…aaaand…this is the largest reason…to have crazy sex as you did when you meet

Marinated until your life sexual relationship, is hands down the most easy thing to do with the greatest impact. It is important.

I found this article the other day and feel like I have to share it here and now: http://girlsteachsex.wordpress.com/2010/01/14/random-sex-tip-variety-of-sexual-experience/

This is a section of great lil than me and my man is really at heart. We found that it was inspirational

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You have requested, PT. 2

The topics of today: women Moody & relationship ruts.

Q: my wife is so moody and takes it out on me. She stays at home with children, who can be stressful. But at the same time, my stress at work must be 5 x what it treats and never leave it on it. Why women men lash that supposedly love they?

A: the (very unfair) simple answer: because it accuses you of ruining her life and she never will tell you that.

But the real truth behind it is more complicated. It is hard and stressful to be the parent "at home". I did need a few years and wished every day that I had a better place to be. In his mind, you get to dress nice, do something about the brain, talk to other adults and move worlds for at least 8 hours per day. It works around with food on the floor and a sponge in his hands wondering "How am I here?".

Yes, she knows your work is stressful and you work hard, but you have a life outside of your home and she is jealous of her. At the time that you return home, you're probably the only sympathetic adult, it had a chance to talk to all day. You can ventilate colleagues and co-workers & life stress; to do not vent his frustration on children, she uses her next best output: you.

It's just that she lashes you? No.. But the best way to modify it to get to the heart of what it is denouncing the. Point in a good direction to find other adults spend time with during the day and encourage them to find something nice to well…should help to some of the heat off the coast where return you home.

Q: we've been married 10 years and we are in a same sex - rut places, the same positions. How I get to spice up there?

A: I don't know. But when you find, fill me.

' Course apparently it put a lot of effort on his marinated it. Where do you come? My mantra to try new things is no longer on the lines of 'think - do'.

If there is something that you want to try, or a new location, just go for it…don 't wait so they can make. It's your wife we are talking about, not a woman met you three weeks ago…it is unlikely that she will be offended by your efforts. Come, when you're sitting on the carpet, or go join her in the shower - perhaps that they are not revolutionary positions, but far from being out of your standard account.

After 10 years together my guess is there are not many blanks check on "to do" list, but the game changer hottest worms is spontaneity. Make a difference does not trying something new, simply by not doing anything old.

Address the unexpected not picking page 243 in the book of Positions of pleasure, but by its tear away the dishes, so that you can make love to him on the kitchen floor. If they re-negs and insists on the bed, the best for you. Always spontaneous sex as well as all the points you get for wanting to go to it on the floor. Floors are a bitch on his knees.

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Remain unique

Is the common comment that I see most of you, which makes me think that (A) you obviously have not given the matter much thought or (B) you have not bothered with a good relationship even easier. It is simply too easy to say "just single say" in response to a minor gripe a woman…and married not really a solution to solve much at all in the long term.

I'll be the first to say that marriage is not for everyone. It is not so easy. And if you do not have it just, you certainly should not do. But then that celibacy is large and sometimes that I would not be status (temporarily), every person I know hope someday find the person they wish to marry…or at least spent several years with. Not despair, or romantic fantasies "soul mate", but more than one need to possibly find this person who just "gets" you… .which is much more difficult then find someone to buy a drink for.  And once find you it, it is suspended, although it may sometimes be easier to 'remain unique'.

And really, it's just sad if you being that the old guy at the bar…

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